In days past an air of staleness had silently floated in and was hovering. It revealed itself in the smallest of ways- unsatisfied, restless feelings, forced patience, compromises. Enough to feel the check, but not enough to bring me to my knees. So, it seems He has chosen rain and conversation to take me there today. There is something, He tells me. Something here that has no place. Something here that must be brought into the Light today.
A vision of a long hallway lined with doors on each side wanders into my mind. Each door beautiful and unique. As we open each one together, well ordered scenes are revealed. The mark of care and effort is woven into each. We stand in front of the last door. The name on the front reveals a source of unsettled emotion. The relationship between the stale air and the unsettled emotion is revealed. I am encouraged to open the door. The scene inside is full and disorderly. I am surprised at how much is there. So much unconfessed. So much waiting to be called by it's proper name- sin. Questions flood in. How could I have been so blind? Did I feel the checks and chose to ignore them? Pride stands up and takes credit and I must admit I have known all along. Comfort comes and glorious Light shines on it all and washes over the darkness of condemnation. I hear Him remind me of His presence. I hear Him invite me to confess it all now. I feel His peace rush over me and my spirit lifts. Unsettled emotion disperses and Trust settles into the empty space.
Rain nourishes thirsty creation and He does the same for me.
He washes away my filth.
He restores me.
He nourishes my tired and worn down spirit.
Praise rises from the deepest part of me and tears flow as steady as the rain.
O Lord, You have searched me and You know me. Psalm 139:1
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